Because we loveee zombies around here, I turned the baby and I into ZOMBIES!
I'm not the only one obsessed with Zombies right? Usually I'm not the zombie though, I always imagine that I'd be a survivor...but for Halloween sake, we'll be zombies. I asked the hubby if he wanted to be a zombie but he says he'd rather be a ninja lol. I guess he doesn't realize that when the world ends, my extensive knowledge of zombies will save us.
Rule 1: Cardio: This one comes up in Zombieland and clearly makes alot of sense. How many fat people do you see at the end of the world when its zombies doing the ending?
Rule 2: Beware of Bathrooms: Really not just bathrooms any good apocalyptic zombie survivor should know better then going into a bathroom, small closet or any other small room with only one way in or out. Only thing stupider to go into then a bathroom is a movie theater. Lots of places to run around before you get eaten.
Rule 3: Seatbelts: Its a safe bet unless your a complete dumb dumb ( see rule #7 ) your not going to be hoofing it on foot in the event of a zombie outbreak. So when travelling on four wheels wear your seat belt. Nothing worse then finding yourself ejected out of your car into the loving and oh so hungry arms of zombies.
Rule 4: Doubletap: Carrying a gun is a great idea but it should never be your primary weapon. When you do end up using it for that last minute 'oh s***' moment remember to double tap. Its an emergency and thats why your using it and not your cricket bat so why skimp? One bullet more in the head will go a long way to ensuring your survival.
Rule 5: No Attachments: This is a tough one but you can not have attachments. If you got kids or a wife your less likely to survive then the gal or guy who has no attachments and nothing slowing him or her down. Or worse yet making bonehead decisions like 'going back into the room'
Rule 6: Travel in a Group: The best way to increase your odds of survival when travelling in a zombie outbreak is to make sure your a traveling buffet. Going it alone gives the zombies no choices but to eat you. Going it with the old man with the limp, the little kid who cant run and the middle aged woman with the plastic leg gives the zombies more options and you better odds you can run away faster then they can.
Rule 7: Keep the Dumb Dumbs Close at Hand: One of the most sure fire ways of making sure you survive is keeping the less intelligent as close at hand as possible. When you find somebody who asks you 'Whats going on? What Happened? Those are the ones you want with you. That way when the zombies come they are likely too dumb to realize its not Amway calling and run.
Rule 8: Kill with Efficiency: Its not about pretty its about efficiency. Alot of folks run for the gun cabinet where as the truly savvy go looking for the most blunt and effective way to destroy the brain. That can be anything from a baseball bat... to a toilet lid! Kill with Efficiency... dont use weapons that need something to work and use weapons you can swing over and over and over again. You dont tend to run into 1 zombie at a time.
Rule 9: Guns Are for Hunting, Not for Zombie Killing: This one is simple. Guns need bullets. When your running who has time to stop for bullets? Keeping a shotgun with buckshot on hand is important but only when your pinned in and need a quick getaway. Its not a proper means for killing zombies as they run out of ammo and need reloading. Remember a Cricket Bat, or Toilet Lid do not need loading!
Rule 10: Be Quiet: Its the end of the world as you know it so try to avoid squeeling like a 4th grade school girl and perhaps invest in some good sneakers. Nobody said you have to kill all the zombies and there is certainly no shame in sneaking around and surviving versus tearing around like a madman and ending up being an undead happy meal.
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Gotta love Zombieland! BTW who's excited for Halloween and Sundays new episode of Walking dead?! :)
